about the author

still in love

I have been with my husband nearly 23 years. Without Dans love and support I would not have had the strength and opportunity to have published this book. When I read it to him it took a long time as I could barely speak through my tears. When I finished he said ” It is perfect. Do not change a thing.” Then he held me. And this was exactly what I needed to hear and feel from my life partner. Absolute love and support. Marrying my husband will always be the best decision I have ever made for myself and children. I love you Dan. Thank you for everything!

I became a mother in 1996

When I became a mother, I was almost 20 years old and finally finishing my sixth year of high school. I began an addiction to methamphetamine at age 15 when introduced by my mother. When I found out I was pregnant I was finally able to get sober and settle down enough to earn my high school diploma. Having my first child put a fear in me I had never had before. The love I have for all six of my children is the most terrifying and rewarding love I have ever known. We now also have 4 beautiful grandchildren. Lord knows I’ve been blessed.

Its Never The Child's Fault
No Matter What
By : Samantha Johnson

Child abuse is a pervasive and insidious crime that leaves lasting scars on those who endure it.

why I wrote this book

I had planned to write a separate paragraph to explain why I wrote this book. However, the truth is it can all be explained if you know my childhood. I was raised mostly by my single mother Susan. My mother suffered with mental illness. Her father was a pedophile who had began assaulting her at age 8. She constanly reminded myself and my two brothers of this. Her intent was to keep us safe. She thought this knowledge would help us to protect ourselves. Unfortunately, that was not the result.

Myself as well as my brothers were all abused at one time or another. Physically by my mother. Sexually by a neighbor, a babysitter’s dad and others. I would only learn of the abuse they suffered when we were adults, and they were using it to explain how they came to abuse me. I believe, they feel it was the abuse they suffered that brought them to such a dark place. Personally, I don’t know why they did it. I don’t know why the others who assaulted me did it. Maybe that’s not for me to know. What I do know is how I dealt with it and how it made me feel. Even forty some years later. And to sum it up, I felt guilt.
My adult brain knew it wasn’t right. I knew to a degree at least that it was not my fault. But some small details I had kept to myself caused me to keep the guilt to myself as well. I believe it has been raising children that has caused me to understand that i should carry No Guilt. No Matter What.

I truly cannot thank you enough for visiting my site and reading my book. It truly means everything to the little girl who went through the abuse, to know it wasn’t in vain. That one day she was able to help others. Absolutely Everything! Please feel free to contact me

Thank you
Samantha Johnson

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